Paul Bennett is urging people to support SIDS and Kids this Red Nose Day, Friday 26 June, after the foundation helped him cope with his son Joshua’s death. 31749Picture: Luke Plummer
By Casey Neill
FERNTREE Gully’s Paul Bennett found help to beat depression in an unlikely place – SIDS and Kids.
He this week shared his story to support the foundation’s Red Nose Day fundraiser on 26 June.
Mr Bennett’s son Joshua was born in 2001 at just 28 weeks.
“He was a very special baby because his mother hadn’t been able to have children for 18 years,” he said.
“It was quite unexpected and immensely exciting.”
But doctors diagnosed Joshua with cerebral palsy and other complications just days after he entered the world.
“We made a decision that if it was possible to let him go, then it was not fair that he’d be kept here because he’d only be suffering,” he said.
“The doctors agreed.”
Mr Bennett and his wife Wendy supported each other through their grief, but five years later he injured his back.
“And I sat at home and without realising it my condition got worse,” he said.
He sought counselling through his local doctor but did not find the help he needed.
“It was by chance that I did a plastering job for a female psychologist. She said I should trace back to where I had our son and speak to them,” he said.
“It was only last year that Monash (Medical Centre) put me on to SIDS and Kids.”
Mr Bennett was surprised at the referral. His son had not died from sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).
“But it’s important for parents to understand that if you’ve had a loss of a child, SIDS is there for you as well,” he said.
SIDS and Kids counsellors helped Mr Bennett realise he had used work to avoid dealing with his loss. A fishing trip with other bereaved fathers proved a turning point.
“It was an overwhelming feeling that I wasn’t alone,” he said.
“It was very comforting to be around other men who hadn’t been able to deal with their feelings, and sometimes you can also counsel each other.”
Monthly meetings have since helped Mr Bennett regain his strength and personality.
“It’s a long road back. But it’s comforting to know that at any time I can phone these people and they’ll be there,” he said.
The fishing trips have also pushed him to pursue a long-held passion.
He this year established Fishing Line Youth and Community Services Victoria to combat social problems affecting young people.
SIDS and Kids provides bereavement support and counselling, SIDS and stillbirth research and parent education.
Red Nose Day merchandise is available from various retailers, www.rednoseday. com.au or by calling 1300 1 RED NOSE (1300 1 733 6673).
Anyone who would like more information on Fishing Line can send an email to easyfish@bigpond.com
