By Seth Lukas Hynes
This week Seth Lukas Hynes reviewed The Next 365 Days, Starring Anna-Maria Sieklucka, Michele Morrone and Simone Susinna.
Rated R18+
1.5/5
The perplexingly titled The Next 365 Days (sequel to 365 Days and 365 Days: This Day) is marginally better than its predecessors, but punishingly bland more than anything else.
It’s hard to summarise The Next 365 Days, as so little happens in this film; Laura (Anna-Maria Sieklucka) and Massimo (Michele Morrone) are driven apart by vague angst from the previous film. Like its predecessors, The Next 365 Days is slow and shallow, and can’t convey tone without a string of pop songs.
Sieklucka has some moments of solid acting in her own language (Polish), but she and Morrone are still terrible at acting in English. The sex scenes fail to sizzle when the players lack chemistry. Nacho (Simone Susinna), Laura’s love interest from the previous film, returns to court her, and while he is a gentler alternative to Massimo the kidnapper, the film is somehow unaware of Nacho’s deception and subtle coercion.
The plot seems to build to Laura realising she can find happiness without Nacho or Massimo, but the flat climax throws up its hands, drops any scarce sense of conflict and has Laura and Massimo reconcile. This tepid ending makes the background mob war and Nacho completely redundant.
It’s worth noting this series’ cursed pedigree: the 365 Days novels by Blanka Lipińska originated as Fifty Shades of Grey fan fiction, which in turn originated as BDSM-themed Twilight fan fiction. What terrible singularity will popular culture collapse into if we get 365 Days fan fiction?
The Next 365 Days is slightly better than its predecessors, with a decent performance from Sieklucka, pretty cinematography and a record low amount of assault, but it’s slow, bland and vain as ever, and is available for streaming on Netflix.
– Seth Lukas Hynes
